After I graduated High school,
My mama asked me what I wanted to be.
I told her, “Mama
I’ve been giving it some thought
And I don’t want to go to no punk ass university.”.
Instead, I’d rather be a Pokemon master
And train hard so I can win matches
And gym badges and in batches
I’ve been catchin’ Pokemon
And arranging them almost as well
As my syntax is.
Be like, “Bulbasaur,
I choose you!”
I mean I’ll use you
But you better not lose dude
And you better listen to my cues too
Better not let Koffing’s ooze spew
Or it’d be hard to tell who’s who.
Have the ladies,
Fuck it,
Guys too yell
“Apollo! Let us ride on your dick!”
But shit, Rhydon’s are made of stone
They’re not made of bone
So they’re not made to bone
Besides, the thought of fucking a Pokemon
Makes me kind of sick.
But hold up, on the surface,
All may seem well in the Kanto region
But let’s dig deep farther.
See they never told you that Ash Ketchum
Was the son of a deadbeat father.
With nothing but a Mr. Mime as a father figure,
His life was hard and severe
Constantly picked on by the douche bag Gary.
He was always in tears
But he conquered his fears
And set out to make his single mom proud
Till the pressure of that led to his eventual depression.
Luckily, he met Brock and Misty,
Two souls almost as fucked up as he is,
And they let nothing get in the way
Of their mission.
Or mama,
Maybe I’ll be the next herald of Galactus
The Silver Surfer.
I’ll surf though space with nothing but my board
No vessels needed, I want to properly feel the stars.
I won’t feel heat, cold
Won’t eat, no
Or sleep, no
The only thing that matters
Is my master gets his next meal
And he eats planets, so you fuckers
Better watch out
And there’s no stopping him
So it’s best to just deal.
And you don’t want none of this,
See, the power cosmic is an awesome force
I wield one of the galaxies greatest tracking systems
In my head so it’s hard for me to get off course
Now imagine if I applied this to goals.
Can rearrange particles
So I can turn anything to gold
So I can turn anything to gold
Literally, but I won’t.
Cuz see under the surface,
The Surfer’s story deals
With a tyrant being over thrown
By his servant.
My man Norrin Radd planned it
So his exile would save his
Home planet
It was the only way.
He wasn’t at the helm but he sure manned it
Which led to him having to do
What Galactus demanded.
He unwillingly had a hand in countless genocides,
Had two of his lovers die brutally
And had the love of his life
Hook up with his half brother
Behind his back
But he went through all that shit
Fluently.
And vowed to spend the rest of his life
Saving those in need
Every Tom, Dick, and Josephine.
And I quote, “If die I must—
Let it be as I lived
Soaring swift and silent
Striving for the right
No matter the cost
Let my board and me
Again become as one!
For I must leave
This place of madness!”.
To this, my mom shook her head,
Told me I need to grow up.
In her tone,
I could hear the sadness.
So once more,
Let my board and me
Again become as one….
See, Apollo the Child
Needs to leave this place of madness.
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