A Life In Progress

This poem was the hardest to write but alas, I managed to get through it. I was debating on whether or not to post it but my girlfriend is amazing....so I did :).

The wrists scream and the veins obey, since sixteen, I’ve been afraid
Just a thin freak that spends his days in sheets trying to mend his grace
In many ways, these sins I face, will one day get me to Heavens gates
Looking for better days, I’ll enter as a renegade who mitigates
The situation at hand…it’s been a life in progress, a night in coffins
Trying not to let those thoughts in, I fight’em off while wondering where God went
Where God went, I wonder where God went? How long will he be gone?
Gotta focus on my concepts as I’m slowly singing my songs but it all goes wrong
I get the feeling he’s late, watching angels dance on the head of the blade
Reminding me of days when I used to get ostracized by the rest of the grade
Thrown in the brig, forced to live his school days as a troll under the bridge
Control is a bitch, holding the switch flipping it off and on knowing I’m sick
Call the apothecary; I’m forced to write a life where the plot is scary
Plus I piss in a pot I carry, living a life where the plot is scary
A lot’ll vary but at least it beats starring in a film by Tyler Perry
But when bills come, I feel like an easy chick that just dropped her panties
No disrespect to the ladies but it’s half your fault I’m here in the first place
Loneliness was the worst case scenarios of hurt came, why am I here in the first place?
Been told to go to Hell so many times, I smile and respond with a “funny,
At least where I’m going, it’s always sunny and the demons love me
And my stomachs always hungry, no different from Earth my little lovely
But at least, here, these Hell spawn won’t wear masks when trying to take something from me”
Some nights, I swear I could smell my flesh burn, yes sir, living as a blessed cur
Yes sir, and I’m not waking till I learn how this bed works, yearning for Death’s cure
Caught in cautious caution’s conscience gosh its contents got us unhappily smilin’
So we have to be wilin’, wear our masks and be silent, I bask in defiance
As an odd ball waiting for God’s call, I used to have a drive but it got stalled
Hiding my skeletons in my closet with the moth balls, thinking it’s a lost cause
The throat aches and the palms are sweaty; I carried this weight till it got too heavy
I bury the taste with a Gothic medley weary of where my thoughts might get me
Thank God for Hip Hop and comics, both of which were used for escapism
A world where the freak got the girl and I’ve always been a slave to the rhythm
Burning bridges till I had to cross’em and I can’t swim so I drown in my sorrows
Cursed with women and was ostracized for some time cuz of the path I followed
And I wonder why? See, I almost cut life but decided to give it another try
And let the caterpillars in my stomach develop into beautiful butterfliesTweet

A Smiling Satan

Its been a long time, I shouldn't left you without a strong rhyme to step to

Satan smiles defiles savin, reconciles the sire’s wasteland

Up in isles, the fires we facin met denials of the lost and wasted

The cost was amazing, constantly dodging life’s bullets like Keanu Reeves

Lost to the Martix where black and white only coexist in piano keys

Pull it while it’s trying to leave, never kissed brown but Brown, Chris while Rihanna pleads

You know my steeze, the style with ease in a pile of fiends we aligned with thieves

We aligned with thieves trying to find our peace but our sighs released the signs of grief

The science of grieves and the violence of peace commingle to mangle the heart on our sleeves

But see, I ain’t political but if I ever met Harper I’d ask him about his dick size

Cuz he must be over compensating for something the way he wields these big lies

Still, with no insurance, we took the “common” out of common courtesy

Trying to drink up knowledge’s truth serum with every quart I see

On a course I weave trying my best to bring order to every court I see

Of course I’ll plead, watching roses wilt cuz they haven’t been watered in many days

But it really doesn’t matter because my baby loves daisies anyways

A heavy weight who weighs one-eighty-five in lips alone trying to grip the throne

Kill the king, pimp slap the prince while trying to kiss a stone, I missed my show

But the wind will blow past a winking innocence, singing in a fence

Sinking in my ship, thinking “this is it” but knowing I ain’t missing this

Oh how the sea was open, offering myself up to the queen of oceans

Cuz it seems it’s hopeless, where you can’t get the keys of life but the keys of dope and

With ease my opus needs my focus lovin livin livin livid

As an unhip hipster, the world’s funnest straight-edge, I stay dead livin timid

Thinking what I ain’t said swimming in a grave bed; I face debt while living in it

Used to refuse smiles, used to the noose wild, but I got a muse now, I’m grinnin

From ear to ear like the Joker but the truth is, even he can be sane sometimes

I’m sustained in punchlines, she’s a saint who done time in Hell but escaped the confines

My angel with a nose wrinkle, here to shower me with enough blessings

But I’m off topic; I was supposed to be asking all the tough questions

Like, why are our souls so empty? How come Fox’s media is so offending?

Mr. Jamaal, how the hell are you so trending?! But alas, I’m lost and antsy

And so our lives have become the equivalency of an unraked pile of leaves

So here we are, constantly dodging life’s bullets like Keanu Reeves

Up in isles, the fires we facin met denials of lost and wasted

Reconciling pyres in wastelands to up the styles of a smiling Satan

..............Yes I have succumbed to the "Matrix" reference :PTweet